Do You Dare to Stand Out? – Tags: life, life lessons, Personal story, psychology, self, self awareness, self growth, self improvement

‘Don’t wear bright colours,’ my aunt said to her husband.

I was in my teens and wondered about that statement. Later I found out the reason and was stunned. Let me explain.

My father’s brother, like his parents and siblings, was of Dutch nationality but born in Indonesia — then the Dutch Indies. History buffs will know that the Dutch share a not-so-nice colonial past with the English, with ancestors and descendants being olive-skinned.

It caused many ‘misunderstandings’ during my life, especially where my sister and I have dark hair and (light) olive skin whereas our brother was blond, typical Dutch, you’d say.

I remember in high school, my classmates enquiring after that nice blond guy, and not believing me when I said he was my brother, not my boyfriend.

Back to the words of my aunt, the Dutch lady who was happily married to my uncle:

‘Don’t wear bright colours because of the colour of your skin.’

She was afraid he’d ‘stand out’ if he wore coloured shirts instead of his standard light to medium blue.

Are we so afraid of being stigmatised? Is standing out that bad? Why is it that most people want to blend in? Fear? A feeling of belonging? Self-worth? FOMO?

The most interesting people are those who do not compromise behaviour, dress code, or contributing to society the Tory way — making money. (A topic for another day: why do we measure people by their economic value?) People who have no FOMO because they live their lives the way they want to. Most importantly, people who do not depend on others for their self-esteem and value.

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