Alive – Tags: Caz C. Cole, Family, Family History, Father, Fatherhood, Grief, Indonesia, legacy, remembrance

Poetry

A Life Remembered

In loving memory of my father

What shall I do? Where shall I go?
Wait, I’ll ask him.
Help, please, I did something stupid.
Dad'll fix it.
Is this the right decision? The right thing for me?
Wait, I’ll ask him.

Wait…

I cannot call him. He’s not there.
Lost thirty-two years ago, yet
the ache remains. I miss him still. My dad.
Not a hero, but a wonderful human being.

Kind and loving, gentle and forgiving
Always there if you needed him.
A listening ear and sound advice,
even if I didn’t always heed it.

I miss having him just one call away
I miss his presence in my life.
I miss him missing my children growing up,
and missing me becoming a grandmother.

His death meant growing up all of a sudden
No one to lean on, no one for my worries.
And just as he was opening up about his youth—
About surviving a Japanese camp in Indonesia.

We planned to visit Indonesia together
He’d show me where he was born, where he lived
We’d walk the streets he took as a boy
A trip down memory lane we never got to take.

Today is the anniversary of his passing.
Today a candle burns for him and all those we lost.
It is not a sad flame; it breathes hope and love.
For love is what "missing" is all about.

Love keeps them close; memory keeps them near.
They are never truly gone. They are alive.
So tell the stories. Share the anecdotes that make us smile,
and the emotive moments that bring a tear to our eyes.
In the sharing of a life remembered,
we find the way to keep them whole.

 

— Caz C. Cole

© 2026 Caz C. Cole